Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Life is fast. It happens constantly and moments are easy to forget. There is so much that I want to remember but I am finding that as time passes, the memories fade. I never want to forget the impact my friends from high school made on my life.
Sometimes I desperately miss their closeness. God completely blessed me with amazingly, wonderful people to grow up with. We were so close; they knew me better than anyone (and still do today in some cases). We had so much fun and experienced so much together. It’s been more than five years since I graduated high school. Where has the time gone? I know I’m not old yet, but sometimes I feel like I am. It’s getting harder for me to remember the times we shared together and distance is growing between us.
I’m still close with my high school friends, but I do miss them. I don’t want to forget the slumber parties, the sports games and trips, vacations, birthdays, secrets, moments with God. I don’t want to forget about the “Best Friends Forever Club” (of which I QUIT!), Mere Images (we could have been the next Spice Girls, it’s really unfortunate it didn’t work out!), singing Michael Jackson songs in the drainage tunnel behind my house, or playing football on the playground in elementary. I don’t want to forget about all those Weird Al Yankovich wannabe songs that I used to write with Lacy, or the wrestling matches we used to put on during gym (ya know the ones where the real fight actually broke out between Nicole and Holly!?) I don’t want to forget about that football season that I suffered through being the school mascot or that awful Spanish video that we made and the fun we had making it. I don’t want to forget all the team meals during softball playoff season or crying in the outfield with you our senior year because we knew we were about to lose to stinkin’ Weimar again! I don’t want to forget or lose the comforting feeling of an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on…no matter how cliché that may sound!
Together we experienced life and death, triumph and tragedy. We witnessed the power of Jesus and prayer together…though sadly some of us have forgotten. We made mistakes, we lived, and we’re learning. We were friends when we lost our virginity and we confided in each other. When our parents divorced we relied on the stability of our friendship. We cried over lost friends that death took too quickly from us, but the air that we had in our lungs made us appreciate life so much more. We said, “I love you.” We fought over petty issues and always realized that our love for each and sisterly bond was stronger than our disagreements. We set records in softball and quit track together when we felt cheated! We tried to love and find value in everyone but we didn’t do enough because sadly there were some who still had no sense of purpose or worth.
I regret being the biggest hypocrite of all; I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I’m sorry.
My friends loved me so much but sometimes I made them feel like they weren’t important to me because unfortunately I prioritized other people over them. Sometimes I look back and regret the time I missed with you and I wish I could get it back!
You were with me through all of my “loves” and you watched me (and heard all about it!) when I met the amazing man God had created for me, my soul mate and one true love forever, Jared. You gave me advice on how to keep him. You helped me look a little less like a complete idiot around him (even though the odds were against me and there was only so much you could do!) You rejoiced with me when my love asked me to be his bride. You were mad that anyone could possibly think I didn’t deserve him. You were supposed to be my strength at the wedding but when I looked to you I only saw you crying, which of course didn’t help me stay strong at all and is perhaps the only way you have ever remotely failed me…though you made me feel so loved in your doing so.
You have always been “there” for me. When my world seemed to be falling apart, often you were my sanity. We don’t always agree. We aren’t exactly alike. We don’t see each other near as much as I would like. I’m gone too much. We live too far apart. We’re busy. We’re not in the safety of our hometown and each other’s reach anymore. We’ve grown. We’ve learned…a little. Our lives go on. But no matter how far apart we may be, no matter how much time passes, regardless of what life may bring. It doesn’t matter to me if you make a million mistakes. I will always remember the ties of sisterhood that weave us together and with a grateful heart and tears in my eyes I will eternally thank my God for creating you and blessing me with your true friendship. What we have is unique…it’s very rare. And if I haven’t told you, and I know I could never say it enough…thank you so much for your true friendship and love. I treasure you and nothing will ever change that!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
It is revolutionary in the fact that it beckons us to change. Despite our carnal nature to please ourselves, this revolutionary life is lived to please Another. As we begin the revolutionary journey we can hear the cadence of His calling inviting us to be His beloved, and a romance with Him awakens us to a life of compassion. Oh if we would only learn to love the unlovable through the Creator’s eyes surely that would start a revolution. And in that kind of revolutionary life of compassion might we humble ourselves to find authenticity; an authenticity that leads us to genuinely know God and be known by Him.
So if I must change to get this thing that I so earnestly want, why is it that so often I find myself battling, flanked by my desires and my actions? I become enthralled by my passion for something more yet my lack of action pushes me into a corner. I have become obsessed in the wanting yet in my pursuit I am left feeling dissatisfied. Paul wrote in Romans chapter seven “what I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another...” This dual life that Paul describes captures a reality that echoes in so many of us; the struggle toward our highest potential and the slipping into just doing. This struggle allows us to walk and obey God by faith; or it pushes us to walk in a way in which we hate, that doesn’t please God and makes a mockery out of potential.
So in this place between my desire for a revolution and my struggle against my actions I will press on. I will trust that my craving for more was not created simply for the purpose of feeling hunger pangs, but that I was destined to feel this way so that I may know the joy of being filled with what is good. And I will find hope in the fact that the Spirit of God is arousing us from within, and that these hunger pangs that we feel are but a foretaste of the glorious plan God has in store.